Why are men in Islam allowed multiple wives?

 

Polygamy “is the practice of marrying multiple spouses.” ( Harper, Douglas, 2016). Polygamy includes both husband and wife having multiple spouses. This however is not supported by Islam as a whole. Islam allows only the husband to have multiple spouses and not the wife. Islam legalizes ‘Polygyny’, in Arabic termed as ‘Ta’addud’. 

Polygamy or polygyny is an issue with many controversies. Islamic views on it have been criticized repeatedly by many religions and cultures. Monasticism has made polygyny an evil practice. Marriage is not evil and having sexual impulses is natural in humans. It is part of human needs. The gratification of sexual urges is frowned upon with suspicion. Priests and monks are respected for their celibacy and purity. 

“The Qur'anic idea of chastity is not virginity, asceticism, or Renunciation, but a sexual praxis that remains within the moral limits prescribed by God; the Qur'an encourages sexuality but creates a framework for its practice.”

( Johnson, H., 2004) 

The struggle of West with Polygamy

Polygamy is foreign to the west (Reynolds, 1878):

Many westerners claim that polygamy is a practice of the people of Asia and Africa and the west has nothing to do with it. This claim falls short as many biblical figures and renowned individuals of the past West are guilty of polygamy. 

Polygamy is “injurious to public morals” (Musser, 1948):

Having a second wife is beneficial for protecting man from taking mistresses or concubines. People in the west involve in illegal sexual relationships where the child born is denied the right to know his parents. A child thus born suffers from psychological traumas later in life; this creates a sick society where the morals of Islam are questioned. Durex's Global Sex Survey (2005) found that “worldwide 22% of people surveyed admitted to having had extramarital sex." 

Man and women have no differences:

Cry for equality is echoed everywhere; rather than embracing the differences, they are given ratings from important, strong to shameful, and weak. Allah has created man and women for each other. What one lacks is fulfilled by the other. Islam has given Man the responsibility to look after his wife/wives and protect them from evil and harm. Women hence need a man for protection. "The Shari'ah... does not tolerate any woman seeking refuge under the roof of any man unless she is married to him or he is within the prohibited degrees of relationship to her."(Abdur Rahman, 1990) Marrying multiple wives gives them protection because of the surplus women. The unequal ratio can be due to women’s greater life expectancy or the death of men in battles fought across the world. 

Polygamy is ‘human sacrifice’ or ‘sati’ (Reynolds, 1878):

 Sati is the burning of married females mainly practiced in India. This argument is pointless because sati is forced while in polygyny the females have their consent. In Islam, women can discuss the issue of polygyny before marriage. ‘Human sacrifice’ is practiced by westerners. Males in western countries have called against polygyny to protect women's rights, while they engage in a form of polygyny themselves. “Monogamy protects the males’ right to play around without any responsibility, since the incidence of infidelity among them is much higher than that among females.” (Philips, et.al., 2005) 

  

Is there a risk for women in polygamy?

 It is insensible to say that the risks are only in the practice of polygyny because women in abusive monogamy relationships, divorced women or women with neglectful husbands show higher risks, polygyny practiced by the rules of Allah can create a peaceful and happy family. 

1. Depression- In polygynous families, the attention is taken away from one wife. It lowers their self-esteem and causes feelings of impotence. Allah has commanded man to treat all his wives equally. He SWT says, “So, do not lean totally (towards one) and leave the other as suspended. If you act righteously and fear Allah, then, Allah is Most-Forgiving, Very-Merciful.” (Qur’an, 6:129) If all the wives are treated equally, they bond together and end jealousy and rivalry. Polygyny can offer good female bonding. 
2. Low self-esteem- Many women think that polygyny will make them backward, locked up in the house to look after the children. This argument can be faced with the example of the first wife of the prophet Muhammad SWT, Khadeejah RA. She was a working woman who was also devoted to her husband. Polygyny does not make a woman inferior to her husband but frees her of the burden that she would have had to handle alone. 
3. Child-rearing- Multiple wives can protect the barren wife from getting divorced as the husband can have his heirs from the other wife and the first wife can help in raising his children thus fulfilling her wish of becoming a mother. 
4. Less marital satisfaction: The reason can be the husband not fulfilling his duties. The wife is not responsible for looking after children and the house or fulfilling her husband’s needs. She has her rights. The Prophet PBUH regarded these rights with most care. The prophet PBUH was romantic to his wives. He used to play with them and take them on journeys. A’isha RA said, “Whenever the Prophet wanted to travel, he used to draw lots among his wives and the wife whose lot came out would travel with him.” (Bukhari) 

The Prophet Muhammad SAW’s way

The messenger of Allah laid down the ways of treating one’s wives. A man should love them, treat them with kindness, fulfill their needs and give them their rights. Allah said, “marry the women you like, in twos, in threes, and fours. But, if you fear that you will not maintain equity, then (keep to) one woman.” (Qur’an, 4:3) 

Conclusion

Polygyny is condemned or hidden even by Muslims. Muslims should know the reasons behind this practice. The one practicing polygyny should also study how the prophet treated his wives so he may too give his wives their rights.